Time: < 1 Hour

STEP 1: Ask friends, family, or your social media circles if they have any therapist, psychologist, or counselor recommendations. Many therapists offer free phone or in-person consultations so you can get a feel for them and whether they will be a good fit for you before you begin your sessions. You can also talk to your Human Resources representative at work to discuss their EAP (Employee Assistance Program) and get some suggestions from their vendor. Research therapists that have expertise in your area of need and are in your price range and/or are covered by your insurance.

STEP 2: Call the ones that you are most interested in to inquire if you can schedule a quick call with them to see if there is a fit. Take advantage of any consultation options they offer and make a concerted effort to select someone who puts you at ease and feels like the right fit.

STEP 3: Go to the session and be open and honest with them and with yourself. This may be challenging at first, but these counselors have likely heard everything before, and your situation will not surprise them. They are trained professionals and are not going to judge you, so be forthright about your background, worries, and concerns. It doesn’t help either of you if you don’t tell the whole truth.

STEP 4: Make sure you have marching orders or “homework” when you leave the appointment, so you’ll know where to focus your efforts moving forward (or before your next session). Consider looking for opportunities to say NO to people, to make sure you are setting appropriate boundaries (this will also increase your emotional aspect of being safe). If you do not feel as though you are leaving with the tools you need in order to move forward with confidence, communicate this to your therapist. Though it may take time, it is important to feel you are benefitting from the work you are doing with this person.

STEP 5: Share what you're going to focus on with a loved one, so they can support you through the process. It takes time, but you will reap the benefits.