Time: < 30 Minutes
STEP 1: Take a moment to breathe three deep, diaphragmatic breaths to calm yourself and quiet your mind. When we let our emotions manage us, we think, say, and do things that are counterproductive and don’t allow us to be in control of ourselves.
STEP 2: Don’t say or do anything…Don’t say that word, send that text, yell that obscenity, or hurt the one you love…just wait. Think about the consequences of your actions. If you say, believe, or act on your current emotionally charged thought, will it help you reach your goals and stay in alignment with your values, or are you giving your emotions the reigns?
STEP 3: Count to ten. Sometimes giving yourself a time out is exactly what you need. Tell someone that you need to cool off, take a walk, get some fresh air, or simply don’t respond to the email, text, or post until you can maintain your integrity and manage your emotions. If you need to phone a friend or talk to a counselor to work through this situation in a healthy and effective manner, do it.
STEP 4: Consider writing a pro/con list of possible outcomes if you move forward without being in control of your emotions. Not only will it help you think more clearly, it also gives you more time to cool off and think through your actions.
STEP 5: Make your decision based on the person you are and the person you WANT TO BE! Effectively control your emotions in whatever way is necessary. Depending on where you fall, either set strong boundaries to be in control of your situation or apologize if necessary. If an apology is in order, let others around you know which behavior you are trying to improve. If they are aware of what you’re working on, they’re more likely to give you grace as they observe you making progress.
