Time: 1 Hour

STEP 1: Think about someone you know who is possibly hurting/lonely/stressed that you can check on: We don't always know what people are struggling with in their lives. In an effort to protect ourselves from being vulnerable, we become masters at hiding our challenges and pain.

• Know a single mom? Offer to babysit her kids.
• Know someone going through a divorce? Provide a listening ear or ask if they want to go to a funny movie.
• Know a child that needs a helping hand? Take them for ice cream and offer to help.
• Know someone who just lost a job? Help them with their resume and give them names of headhunters you know.

STEP 2: Call that person to let them know you were thinking of them and want to see them. Don’t say, “I want to help you”, just schedule a time that week for you to meet up. They may be concerned about “inconveniencing” you. Prepare for the possibility that they may be resistant to any offer to help, so be aware of when/if you are overstepping any boundaries and be respectful of their wishes.

STEP 3: Once the date is scheduled, determine what you want to do for or with them. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. If you don’t know what they need (maybe you’ve never been divorced or lost a parent and can’t empathize with their situation), call someone who has walked in their shoes to get some ideas.

STEP 4: If possible, pick them up so you can have time in the car to talk, laugh and discuss where you are headed. Start with something lighthearted. Be present. They may want to talk extensively about their pain or they may specifically NOT want to talk about their challenges and need you to get their mind off of any stressors. Be aware of what they need and how they choose to express their needs by listening to the words they use and by watching their facial expressions and body language. Provide them with a measure of confidence and support until they can, once again, believe in themselves.